Only Human
by Creative Katherine
Summary: L/TaskForce Comfort breakdown, 1 of 3 Alternate endings to 'Collapse' Ryuzaki wakes up in the night to check his messages one last time but shocks everyone with how he acts. Fortunately the Task Force are there for him. OOCness by request from ratt9.


**AUTHORS NOTE: Okay so this is an alternate ending (I have other alternate endings such as a Light and L comfort and also Ryuzaki going insane but other then that I might continue 'Collapse'- not sure, which is why i'm doing this alternate ending seperate to that fic) that was made for ThatAnt (aka ratt9 on here) because I wanted to give her something for helping rewrite Tears in the Rain (which will be submitted on here eventually). She said on Skype the she likes freak out kind of fics and she wanted Ryuzaki to sob so I couldn't help but think of doing this as a different ending to that fic.**

* * *

He was finally finished…after two whole hours of skimming through boring documents. All that he had to do now was put them on Ryuzaki's desk so the odd recluse could revise his conclusions later when he was feeling up to it and had recovered from his collapse earlier.

Matsuda got up from the sofa he had been sitting on and walked over to the main desk, catching the sight of the camera focusing on L's quarters from the corner of his eyes, instantly making his feet come to an abrupt halt and question what he had just seen, turning and walking closer to the display, seeing the lights on in L's room but no sign of him in bed like he should be; only seeing the sheets pulled back against the mattress.

"Where's Ryuzaki?" He questioned aloud gathering the other's attention in the room as he leaned over the desk and took hold of the controls, the cameras now zooming in on Ryuzaki's warmly lit quarters.

Aizawa, who had also finished with his assigned document pile came over to the desk to study the screens, this also gathering Soichiro's attention as he had followed whilst Mogi continued to sit on the sofa watching them.

"The lights are on but he's not there." Aizawa remarked thoughtfully as his eyes scanned every inch of the screen.

"Yeah…I can't see him on any of the cameras…" Matsuda muttered, now sitting in Light's chair.

All three men looked to each screen in search of L, only to see no sign of him.

"Oh great! Just what we need!" Aizawa threw his hands up in the air before directing his irritated face to Soichiro. "I thought Light was _supposed_ to be watching over him." Came Aizawa's annoyed and accusing tone.

Soichiro frowned as he turned to the afro haired man he had come to stand beside. "He's only just gone to the toilet Aizawa. He's been watching over Ryuzaki for the past few hours. He needs a break. He said he wouldn't be long." He calmly stated before looking back to the screens and ignoring Aizawa's burning gaze.

"Yeah well just know I'm not going to be picking him up from the floor again if he comes in here! It's his own fault that he doesn't sleep enough!"

Soichiro once again ignored Aizawa, continuing to study the screens instead. "…Wait…Matsuda, zoom in on this camera here." Soichiro said as he leaned over the desk and tapped a screen, making Matsuda avert his attention to the glass panel and then clumsily look for the control on the desk, his eyes darting all over the key pad and multiple joy sticks.

"Uh yeah…sure!" Matsuda pressed a button.

"Matsuda" Aizawa face palmed. "You're zooming in on the wrong level."

"Oh… sorry!" Hands instantly went to another control. "Is this the one?"

"Yeah, that's the one…but it's not helping when you've turned the camera at an angle where we can only see a wall for christsakes!"

"I'm sorry! I don't know how to work this!" Matsuda practically yelled as he punched a few buttons, the cameras zooming in and out on various floors at the same time.

Aizawa leant forward over the desk past Soichiro so he could see Matsuda's face that was currently still focused on the panel of keys.

"If you didn't know how to work it then why did you even touch the goddamn thing in the first place?" Aizawa roared whilst watching Matsuda continue to try and use the controls. "…and can you use that like a _normal _person instead of punching it? You'll break it!"

"I-I…I'm not breaking it!" Matsuda stuttered as he looked to various controls and then back to Aizawa. "..And well I uh…I mean I don't know! I've seen Light use it a few times and thought it just looked easy enough…"

"Yeah well you keep forgetting, easy for most people is _hard _for you Matsuda."

"I was just trying to help! I was worried about Ryuzaki!" Matsuda tried to defend himself.

"Yeah well you could have asked me! At least that way it wont end up smashed to pieces! God knows how much this technology is worth!"

"That's enough Aiza-"

The sound of the elevator doors opened cutting off Senior Yagami's speech as all in the room looked to the small area seeing Ryuzaki slowly getting out of the small space, none of them expecting what would soon happen next.

* * *

Feet dragged along the floor, multiple sets of eyes watching his weary figure in silent observation as all occupants had slowly come to return to their seats, knowing when they had seen Soichiro be waved off and hearing Ryuzaki quietly say he needed to just check his messages just one last time, his words were what says goes, knowing they couldn't do anything to stop him from doing what he needed to do.

Ryuzaki clumsily stopped before the main desk as glassy bloodshot eyes blinked a few times and then foggily scanned the littered mountain of documents which had been abandoned from earlier before his collapse.

Whilst here, out of habit he averted his attention to his open laptop that contained a webcam, saying to Watari in a small voice to make sure security was locked down and that the Task Force were most probably staying the night.

Lids tried to remain open as his head bobbed, attention now on something else as ivory hands searched, fingers brushing over the polished desk limply before making contact with something cool.

Thinking it was the glass screen of his mobile, black orbs opened and trailed to the item, only to slowly widen at what he was actually looking at, his entire being freezing upon what he saw.

It wasn't his mobile.

Instead, it was Watari's glasses.

Glasses neatly folded, sitting there all alone next to his paper work from earlier.

Ryuzaki stared at the polished specs as various things started running through his mind at once, thumb and forefinger delicately picking the face furniture up between finger tips, bringing it up before his face and scanning the structure as he twisted it around in his hold, not understanding what they were doing on his working desk that was used on a daily basis for paper work when Watari was in the other roo-

Wait...

How could he forget?

Breathing suddenly became ever so slightly shaky as wide eyes now stared ahead, hand lowering to his side with the object still in place, his mouth agape.

A long time seemed to pass before thoughts assembled into words. "Watari…has passed away." Came a simple and quiet statement from nowhere, the truth dawning on him that Watari wasn't watching through the camera from the maintenance room for instructions and never will be anymore, the impact finally registering just what that sentence meant.

_That sentence was inaccurate. _Ryuzaki just about thought to himself.

"No…he was…murdered." His hushed voice corrected himself as eyes rolled to the massive television screen hung on the wall before him, shock taking over his entire being at what he had just said as the weight behind his words registered. "Killed…by an apparent…Death… God?"

The Task Force watched the detective mutely from behind, glancing at each other in mild confusion and concern from what they were seeing, their attention being gripped from the moment Ryuzaki had talked into the microphone as if Watari was still there.

Matsuda stared at the black haired detective, slightly scared from the uncharacteristic behaviour as he glanced at Soichiro with fear in his eyes at thinking of the concept of Ryuzaki might finally be cracking, cautiously starting to get up from the sofa with the other man, wondering just why Ryuzaki was questioning the existence of a Death God when he, just like the rest of them, knew from experience that they were indeed real.

Ryuzaki's sluggish brain was thinking on so many things.

Watari, his father figure, companion, and the only one he had ever trusted fully with his life would never be with him on another investigation ever again.

Would never be there to give any further support and guidance.

Would never be able to attend another ICPO meeting as his eyes, book a flight, a hotel room, deal with the building's security or notify the orphanage as to where they were going next.

…He would never do any of these things ever again.

Breathing gradually became more uncontrolled with his chest rising and falling much quicker as each thought hit him like a blow to the head, trying desperately to keep his sharp intake of breaths inaudible, sobs threatening to surface, his whole form shaking as his exhausted mind tried to comprehend his predicament.

The glasses started slipping from his bony fingers as eyes stared ahead in a daze, trying desperately to maintain the composure that was slowly slipping from his grasp.

Just so suddenly…with a click of Kira's fingers and Watari, the kind and gentle inventor that had been with him for over twenty years- was dead.

Just like _that_.

A brush of warm fingers made contact with his own, forcing Ryuzaki's wide eyes to blink, slowly travelling to the corner of his vision where he could barely make out Soichiro Yagami standing there with a mixed expression.

"Ryuzaki…?" The alias was said quietly and hesitantly with a hint of concern evident, unsure of how to react to Ryuzaki's unusual behaviour as he studied the detective.

Ryuzaki's eyes stayed fixed in the same position for a small amount of time before ever so gradually his head turned fully to look to the older man, eyes spotting Soichiro's fingers which were stretched out holding something as an offering to him with his arm extended, his own fingers not seeming to understand the object that he had previously been holding on to was now in the man's hand opposite as his own digits stayed curled, gripping onto thin air.

Soichiro had prevented one of the only things left as evidence that Watari had ever existed, from falling to the floor and potentially shattering into hundreds of pieces.

The room was starting to spin, dizziness suddenly enveloping him.

He needed to sit down before something happened.

Quickly trying to come up with something, his weary mind worked overtime to find an excuse- though his words came out slow as if he was somewhere else.

"…I apologise. I believe my legs have undergone a heavy amount of strain due to standing up all day. I must sit down." shaky whispered words rolled off his tongue as his slightly numb legs threatened to give out, walking mechanically with a barely noticeable wobble to the front of the chair he used on a daily basis, slowly easing himself down on to the seat straight onto his back side, something he hadn't done for a while.

He sat there unmoving, bug eyes staring straight ahead at nothing in particular, unblinking as his mind had trouble understanding just how he had let this indeed happen.

Watari hadn't been killed by terrorists.

Assassinated by an unknown party.

Or killed in any other realistic circumstances in his predicament as being L.

He had instead, been killed by a _Death God's Notebook_.

A moment passed in deathly silence as all in the room didn't take their eyes off the detective and the Ex-Chief.

To L, everything was only beginning to register now, his whole body staying frozen in his position, barely breathing enough oxygen to keep his brain from shutting down altogether as stubborn tears kept pushing to come out.

Just then, before he even knew it, a sob had broken out from his lips forcing his body to jerk and hunch as one hand immediately tried in vain to cover his sobs from being heard.

The rest of the Task Force, apart from Matsuda who stood in shock with wide eyes and face displaying a mixture of emotions such as fear, concern, confusion and sadness for the super sleuth, sat frozen as they watched on from behind in shock at realising that L, the super detective that they thought would never be capable of emotions due to the nature of his business side, was actually breaking in front of them.

Ryuzaki reached out and gripped on to his desk for dear life to keep him from slipping to the floor as his head remained bowed, each attack surfacing as they eventually grew in volume until it was the only thing that could be heard in the room, the same warm hand that had brushed with his own only minutes ago now coming to rest on his shoulder.

Watari had been taken from him.

He had so much he wished he could have said.

So much.

But he had never been able to clearly translate his feelings into words.

And now he would never have that opportunity again.

For the rest of his life, that is.

"I…apologise. I am…finding it rather difficult…to... think rationally in this moment… of time." He managed to stop sobbing enough to say the hushed words between shaky breaths through his hand, auto pilot having set in to justify his actions.

It was true. The way he was sitting compromised his deduction ability by forty percent and having not slept for eight days straight, drunk or eaten anything sugary also compromised him by a further… percentage.

He was too tired to figure out the exact numbers.

But that wasn't what was making him feel this way.

He could hear footsteps nearing where he and Senior Yagami were.

"…Ryuzaki…there is no need to apologise. Everyone has a right to grieve." Came a soft, sympathetic and gentle reply from the older Yagami, sadness evident in his eyes upon the heart-wrenching display before him, understanding that L was only now having time to take in everything and how ridiculously unbelievable everything was.

Ryuzaki didn't reply as soft and quiet sobs continued to attack him, desperately trying to stop himself but his body seemingly responding, the aching in his heart pouring out through salty tears, memories of his father figure cutting through his thoughts like knife to butter. "…Myself and Watari…we…"

"Ryuzaki…it is fine…" Soichiro reassured quietly.

Soichiro's face lowered down to L's just then, a hand offering a handkerchief was brought out of a pocket, bringing it under the super detective's bowed face, Ryuzaki's eyes now peering under dark locks to the older man's face momentarily before looking to the offering, a porcelain hand which had previously been hovering over his mouth in vain to cover his upsetting sounds reaching out shakily, fingertips now grabbing hold and clutching on to the material though not using it immediately as it remained shakily suspended in the air.

Soichiro's free strong hand once again went to Ryuzaki's hunched over back and stayed there, straightening slightly while he did so though still remaining bent over his form.

A few moments passed before Ryuzaki sensed Soichiro's movement shift behind him as his trembling hand containing the material dabbed at his face, hearing something being spoken behind him though the words not clear enough to understand, his ears only registering the hushed words "Get him some tea and sugar, it might help."

He could see out of the corner of his blurry vision someone standing there fidgeting awkwardly as if unsure what to do.

"…Uh…okay..." Came a hushed and sad response.

Ryuzaki's breathing started to slow as now hushed sobs died down, exhaustion starting to take over now that his last reserves of energy had been used up, shoulders gradually slumping further forwards as eyes struggled to remain open, arms withdrawing from where they previously were and folding with handkerchief still in hand, coming to rest on his desk as his heavy head slowly came to rest on both arm's surface.

"I will… just be resting my eyes… for a moment." a muffled but less shakier and more tired voice sounded from L, the older man understanding he was struggling to remain conscious.

"Just rest Ryuzaki." Were the words of kindness and silent approval as an aged hand squeezed L's shoulder gently.

Soichiro Yagami's heart felt crushed at the sight. The man before him was much like his own son. It wasn't right to see someone his age go through the process of losing someone.

Ryuzaki was too young. Far too young to have accomplished so much, to have seen all the things he has.

Yagami tentatively withdrew both his hands away, taking his glasses off as he hovered over Ryuzaki's hunched frame, shifting his feet and bending over, lowering his head to where Ryuzaki's head rest so he could peek over folded arms, just about making out closed eyes through black curtains of hair that was covering most of the young detective's face, knowing Ryuzaki had indeed fallen asleep in a short space of time.

The ex-chief smiled sadly, his eyes closing with a sad shake of his head, a now serious expression adorning his face as he started to stand up to his full height, his lips letting out a deep sigh as his eyes opened, now putting his glasses back on as he stood towering over the super sleuth's form.

His mouth stayed closed for a moment before opening, his face holding an uncertain expression as he contemplated in his mind whether to leave Ryuzaki in such a position for the night.

Ryuzaki was normally a light sleeper…if he tried to move him then he might wake him up.

But then he couldn't leave him like this…not like this…he deserved better, especially after all he had done for the world.

Finally deciding; "Mogi, can you help me lift him to the sofa?" His words came out abruptly as his head snapped back over his shoulder to look to where the other men were from behind, now noticing they had averted their attention to their documents out of politeness and respect knowing himself and Matsuda had been comforting the grieving detective up until now.

"…Uh yeah, sure." Came the burly man's hesitant reply as he was surprised to hear his name being called in what seemed like ages.

Aizawa's questioning eyes instantly trailed to the ex-chief's position with documents in his hand momentarily forgotten, his attention now turning to Mogi who had previously been sitting on another sofa directly opposite of him until now, said man putting his documents to the side on the seating and getting up, now walking to Light's and L's working desk, stopping on the left side of L, Soichiro facing him from L's right.

"I'll get under his arms if you just get the legs. I just need help getting him out of the chair. He can't sleep like this…" Soichiro's sad eyes studied Ryuzaki's hunched over frame before looking back to Mogi. "…on three?"

Mogi gave a small nod, both of them getting into position. One of Soichiro's hands carefully snaked its way under a black haired head and through arms, getting to L's chest as another went to his back, gently pushing the super detective's fragile now upright limp body back into the seat to get a better position in order to wrap his arms under L's arm pits and around his torso as Mogi gripped onto the top of the chair, helping roll the chair back away from the desk to get in position to grip on to Ryuzaki's legs.

As soon as Soichiro counted down, both gently and slowly eased the unconscious detective out of the chair as they carefully juggled his body between them to get a steady and firm hold.

"He's very light." Mogi's rare voice couldn't help but admit aloud as he was once again reminded of earlier when he had helped pick Ryuzaki up from the floor.

They both took a few steps before L made a few groans instantly gathering their attention as they stopped, Soichiro raising an eyebrow and looking to Mogi who in turn tried to get a better look of L's face under the mass of black hair hiding them to see if they had woken him up.

Ryuzaki didn't move, only letting out a barely audible sigh in his sleep before slow breathing continued.

Mogi looked back to Soichiro who now held a questioning look. With a nod to let the man know they could continue, Senior Yagami returned the gesture back and then resumed looking over his shoulder as they continued to walk towards the sofas they had previously been working at.

Aizawa, who had gotten up upon seeing them lift L stood still; making sure they didn't need any extra help. Seeing the two men now carrying the super sleuth steadily, he looked back to the sofa Mogi had been sitting on which was conveniently the closest sofa to both men, walking over and bending down over the cushioned support as he gathered up the litter of documents that were sprawled all over the seats in his grip.

With a kick of his shoes he moved the glass coffee table a fair distance away from the seating to give the others more leg room to put L down, Soichiro and Mogi coming over with L's inert body, making him get out of their way.

"Down on here. Gently." Soichiro said as they put L down onto the surface.

L himself looked peaceful as his limp body was carefully laid down over the seating, his head being slowly eased onto the arm of the three seater chair, face holding no trace of his outburst from earlier as if it had never happened.

It looked so unnatural to see him sleeping due to the rarity of him ever being caught in the act…but they guessed that they just weren't used to admitting the fact that L was just as human as they were.

Kneeling down on one knee, Soichiro started making sure L was secure and wouldn't fall off any given time by scanning and correcting his body into a more comfortable position, also noticing the green leather arm of the chair looked hard, a hand reaching out and testing the surface with a squeeze, concluding that it was as hard as a rock- too hard to rest on.

Soichiro took his jacket off and neatly folded it, gently placing his palm under black locks of hair to raise L's head, putting the material behind to soften the contact, once again resuming making adjustments.

Eyes behind glasses trailed to the main desk and then snapped over his shoulder to where the other sofa was before looking to the other men.

"Are there any blankets? I don't know if Ryuzaki keeps any. I've not ever stayed the night here."

"Yeah uh I think Matsuda said they're upstairs. I can find some."

"Thank you Mogi."

Silence reigned over the room as Mogi immediately headed for the lift, Aizawa remaining in his same spot, standing still watching his ex-chief slowly start to pull away from where Ryuzaki lay and give out a sigh once again as one arm came to dangle over his knee, his free hand's fingers coming to pinch the bridge of his nose, Soichiro's tired eyes sliding shut.

"Kira really needs to be stopped. This can't go on."

Aizawa stayed silent, examining how worn out his ex-chief looked and then returned to looking at Ryuzaki's exhausted figure.

"Aizawa…listen to me, I know you and him have your differences…" Aizawa's eyes came back to stare at the other conscious man in the room in a questioning manner, seeing Soichiro's fingers withdrawing from his aged face, the older man of the two now staring at the afro haired man with a serious yet gentle expression. "…But, all I ask is just try and go easy on him for the next couple of days. I know Ryuzaki can be hard to work with, but I don't think he's been coping with Watari's death well at all."

Aizawa's brow twitched as his face instantly showed a hint of anger at the words. His mouth immediately snapped open in retaliation to say something but stopped, obviously not being able to go ahead with what ever had been originally in mind and instead breathing out sharply through his nose.

"Well the only reason we have our differences is because he thinks of everything as a game. If he actually gave a damn about our lives and wasn't so extreme in everything then maybe I would hold some respect…and don't give me that look, I've already stood back far too many times since coming back here. You know that."

"…Aizawa." Soichiro's gentle voice sounded as he started getting up on his feet to stand directly opposite him, his voice a completely different contrast to the other man's who was obviously irritated. "You know that's not true. Just like Light said earlier…If he didn't care, he wouldn't have gotten Matsuda out of that mess with Yotsuba." Soichiro examined both Aizawa's angry eyes.

Aizawa opened his mouth once again but was soon cut off.

"Think about it Aizawa…he didn't stop you from coming back when you left, did he? That decision was after all only up to him. This is his facility."

Aizawa folded his arms as dangerous eyes stared at Senior Yagami's face. "Yeah, but that's only because he knew you guys were here to argue if he wouldn't let me back!" Came his challenging retort gaining a small glare from the older man who gave a quick glance to L and then back to him as if silently telling him to keep his voice down.

Aizawa ignored the look and continued to hold his angered stance and gaze.

Another deep sigh was heard as Soichiro's eyes softened suddenly as he rubbed his forehead knowing where the conversation was headed, his eyes going to look somewhere else in the room. It took a moment before he looked back to the afro haired man, his hands going back to his sides.

"He's only human Aizawa."

Both Aizawa and Soichiro stood still as they locked eyes in a staring contest.

However, Aizawa didn't last long under that sad gaze, only lasting a few moments before being forced to look somewhere else.

With a shake of his head, roll of his eyes and a defeated, long drawn out sigh, "Yeah yeah, whatever, look I don't need this guilt trip, especially not from you. I get your message already." Aizawa said in a angered tone as he threw his hands up in defeat as he once again closed his eyes in frustration, fingers now massaging his temples.

"I've got the tea!" Matsuda announced as he stepped in to the room with a steaming mug instantly seeing Aizawa stop rubbing his temples and look at him with a slightly... irritated expression? Soichiro also turning his attention to him.

Matsuda's now confused eyes darted to the main desk, not seeing any trace of L and wondering why they were now standing near the sofas.

His head looked around the room whilst he walked over to where they stood "Where's Ryuza-" only to find the reason why they were standing there, noticing Ryuzaki laying down as his feet ground to a halt, his mouth letting out a small gasp. "Oh…"

"Thank you Matsuda, just put it on the desk for now."

"Oh…uh…sure." He took a step back and turned in the direction of the desk, taking one more worried glance at Ryuzaki as he walked past, putting the tea on the surface and hurriedly returning to their position with his eyes glued on the unconscious man.

He looked between both men, then Ryuzaki and then back to them again. "…Is he…alright?"

"He's okay now that he's resting. I think everything just got on top of him. He was completely exhausted. It's a wonder how he made it here from his room in the first place." He heard his ex-Chief say.

Matsuda eyed Ryuzaki's sleeping form with sad eyes, taking notes of how worn out L looked. "Yeah…" Matsuda muttered studying L with a sorrowful expression before a determined look washed over his face, his fist curling by his sides. "It isn't right! Watari did nothing wrong! Ryuzak-"

"Keep your voice down Matsuda!" Came Aizawa's annoyed and sharp hiss instantly cutting him off, Matsuda practically hearing the unsaid words _just shut up! _by the tone of his voice.

Matsuda just gave a small embarrassed look before sighing and hanging his head with his shoulders slumping forwards, his eyes closed, "I'm sorry." He opened them once again and stared at the floor, glancing to Soichiro and Aizawa out of the corner of his eyes who were currently ignoring him. He sighed again, his head turning and looking around the room with a now depressed expression before something hit him, making his eyes widen and look to Soichiro.

"Where's Mogi?"

Soichiro's eyes were glazed over as if he was in deep thought as he stared at L. "He went to get a blanket…" Soichiro paused and then turned to him, his eyes still holding an evident hint of sadness.

"Have you not seen Light?"

"No!…I mean I did try looking but couldn't find him…I thought he might have come back here. He only said he would be gone a few minutes!"

As if on time, the elevator doors opened just then revealing Mogi and Light, Mogi standing holding an expensive and thick looking wool blanket whilst Light stood by his side holding a pillow under his arm.

"Light…!" Matsuda tried to be quiet with his voice as he took a step over to him.

"Hey…" Light said in a quiet and slightly grim tone as he stepped out of the elevator towards where they all stood followed by Mogi, his face holding a concerned expression. "Sorry for being long, I lost my swipe card on the way up here from the toilet, It's a good thing I found Mogi to help me get in here…"

"Yeah, we was just talking about you! Did you hear about Ryuzaki?" Matsuda couldn't help but ask, his eyes following Light.

Light's feet stopped just to the side of Matsuda, seeing Aizawa and Soichiro standing a small distance away to the side of the sofa as his eyes looked to L's form.

They could all see Light's eyes were shining with sympathy upon seeing L.

Light took a moment before slowly turning his attention to Matsuda, Aizawa and his father. "…Yeah…I heard from Mogi what happened so I brought down a pillow just in case."

"That's very thoughtful of you Light…I'll have it here...and thank you Mogi, just put it over him." Soichiro directed, Mogi giving a small nod in return and walking over to Ryuzaki, carefully holding up and draping the luxurious blanket fully over L.

When Mogi got out of the way, Soichiro then went to Ryuzaki's covered body and bent over, once again carefully sliding a hand under L's head and lifting him up to take away his jacket, giving it to Light who was now standing expectantly by his side.

With Soichiro's now free hand, he gestured to Light to give him the pillow, Light doing as asked and with his free hand, withdrew it from under his arm and passed it to his father who eased the pillow slowly under Ryuzaki's head, gently lowering the exhausted detective's head against the material.

Light observed with the others as he did this, everyone watching to see if L would wake from the movement.

When L didn't show any sign of waking and Soichiro stood to his full height to take a step back, Light noted just how frail L looked now that he could see him fully.

"I don't think I've ever seen him this tired…not even when we were handcuffed together." Light's eyes darted over every inch of the black haired man before turning to them all. "…I was really surprised at hearing what happened…I never expected him to ever break down like that in front of everyone…he really must feel at his worse right now."

"Yeah, It was like he was losing it or something." Came Matsuda's addition. "Poor Ryuzaki…"

"Well we all heard how long he hasn't slept for." Soichiro paused as he looked between the others. "That's enough alone to make anyone fall apart. If I'm honest, with the way he was speaking I think it's only just hit him now what's happened recently." Soichiro turned to his son.

"Your mother went through the same thing when her father died."

Light's eyes narrowed at his father. "…Yeah, I remember Sayu telling me how she just kept on going like nothing happened but then one day she found her crying in her room one night…" Light paused as he saw his father's concerned expression.

"I don't remember that."

"…That's when you had been working."

Soichiro's mouth hung open and then closed, looking at his son with now sad eyes. "…Work has always gotten in the way of everything."

"Hu…h?" Came a soft moan from Ryuzaki with a rustling noise being heard, making everyone look to him, Light quickly forgetting the conversation and turning his attention to L, hastily going to hover over him to keep up his friend role.

"Ryuzaki?" He asked as he bent over L.

"Wh…at…wh…at…?" Ryuzaki whispered as he tried lifting his head from the pillow and seeing the blanket over him. "…what is… this…this is…is unnecessary… I…I must…resume work." Slurred whispered words met everyone's ears as Ryuzaki continued to fidget under the blanket.

Aizawa raised a brow, Mogi stared quietly, Matsuda's mouth stayed open as his eyes took a quick glance to Soichiro and Soichiro watched on in concern, Light's attention staying fixed on the black haired man underneath him.

"Ryuzaki…" Light tried pushing the semi-conscious L back down who was slowly, with much effort, trying to pull himself up into a sitting position. "You're not going to work tonight, no-one's going to let you either. You're completely drained and need to relax."

"No…I'm… behind as is. There are calls…coming in at one thirty, three and five. I have work-"

Everyone took a glance to each other at hearing this, most in the room confused on why L would be getting calls so earlier in the morning.

"Ryuzaki you can't take calls when you're this exhausted. You haven't stopped today… and you can't continue as if nothing happened. You passed out earlier remember?" Ryuzaki pushed against Light as he put a foot on the floor ready to get up.

"Light, I have to-"

Soichiro then stood in the way, blocking one of the free routes to get off the sofa making L momentarily freeze and struggle to look up to the older man through half closed eyes.

Eventhough more then half of the lights were turned off in the room (when had they been turned off?), the place was still too unbearably bright for Ryuzaki's eyes.

"Ryuzaki…please listen to Light. You really aren't in any condition to be working."

"Mr. Yagami…" Ryuzaki took a small breath in. "You do not understand my predicament…I have to, I have a lot to do and do not like leaving work unfinished. Please… get out of the way." Came Ryuzaki's weak voice.

"Ryuzaki. I'm sorry…but we are only looking out for your well being. You need to rest right now. Matsuda come over here and help me."

"But what if Ryuzaki-"

"Oh for crying out loud Matsuda you think he's in any state to be talking to a bunch of Countries half way across the world right now when he can't even stand?" Aizawa roared impatiently as he now stood seething before Ryuzaki with arms now folded over his chest, Mogi following, both men now also blocking the way.

"Well I uh…" Matsuda stood scratching his head as he bit his lip.

"Please Ryuzaki…try and think rationally." Soichiro asked with gentle eyes as he put his hand on Ryuzaki's shoulder, gently trying to push him back down. "…You need to rest."

"I don't think you'll be able to concentrate on whatever they say anyway. There isn't any point." Light added.

Ryuzaki slowly studied his situation through drooping lids, seeing every direction leading off the sofa blocked and then looking up to be greeted with Soichiro's concerned eyes above him. He emitted a small sigh just then as he weakly brought his foot back under the blanket in defeat and allowed himself to be pushed back down against the pillow.

"Very well. If I am not allowed off the sofa can someone at least retrieve my…my phone for me, so I can turn it off?" Ryuzaki asked, a hand withdrawing from under the sheet.

"Matsuda get him his phone." Soichiro said quietly as he looked over his shoulder to the young man.

Matsuda's face literally lit up at the thought of being able to help as he gave a small determined nod before dashing off for the device and grabbing it, quickly coming over and being extra careful, gingerly placing it into Ryuzaki's extended bony hand, the arm apparently too heavy to lift as it stayed dangling out of the covers with his hand hovering centimetres above the floor in the air.

With it now in hand, Ryuzaki slowly brought it up to his face as he turned it off and then held it up back to Matsuda who carefully took it.

"Thank you Ryuzaki." Soichiro said.

There was no response.

* * *

**A few hours later.**

"Aizawa…will you not be going to bed soon? I can't stay up any longer and Light's resting in his chair. I think I'll leave him there because he wants to watch over Ryuzaki for the night."

"Yeah, will Ryuzaki be alright if we go?" Matsuda asked with concerned bleary eyes as he got up with Soichiro and Mogi, looking between them all. "It doesn't feel right leaving him…"

"He will be alright. Luckily we didn't see any symptoms of a concussion earlier so it's looking fine…and anyway, if something does happen, Light can always call our rooms by the phone if he needs someone but I really don't think that will be the case."

"Oh yeah right, I forgot about the phones in our rooms…" Matsuda itched the back of his neck wearily and yawned, his head soon after bobbing and then quickly snapping upright, making him blink several times to try and focus.

Aizawa looked to his exhausted ex-chief as he tiredly rubbed his cheek with the back of his hand.

"I'm going to stay abit longer. I don't want to go up and lay there thinking about that argument I had today with my wife."

Soichiro's tired eyes shone with concern.

"That's understandable…just don't be up long, you look tired."

"Yeah, I wont be- don't worry. I just have one more file to look through and I'll be done here." He said as he squeezed his eyes shut and pinched the bridge of his nose before looking back to Soichiro, the man giving one final nod before turning away with Matsuda closely following behind.

Mogi took one step in their direction before standing still, evidently hesitant in leaving. "You sure you'll be alright?" he asked as he looked over his shoulder to Aizawa.

"Yeah, I'm fine. I just don't want to be thinking of Yumi's face when we fought today. I hate it when she sees us argue. I'll rather work here for a couple more minutes then think of that. It'll only make it worse for me to try and drop off."

Mogi hesitated, closing his mouth and giving a serious expression before giving a short and understanding nod, Aizawa returning the gesture, Mogi then turning his head back to where the others had gone as he walked over to the elevator and boarded it.

All the Task Force Members had now left, apart from Aizawa, Light and Ryuzaki who all remained in the room, Aizawa being the only conscious person in the area.

He rubbed his eyes, blinked slowly and then looked back to the document in hand, resuming work.

Time ticked on, Aizawa eventually bringing the document back down on his lap, his right arm going to rest on the top of the sofa as he tilted his head back to also rest on the top of the support, pinching the bridge of his nose with his free hand as he gave a weary sigh before removing his fingers from his face, understanding that he was in no state to continue working as he stared at the ceiling for a few moments.

Bringing his head back down to now looking opposite him, eyes unconsciously stared at Ryuzaki's unmoving figure on the sofa opposite.

Said man was now laying on his side facing him with his arms now dangling over the edge of the sofa, seemingly having had come out from the blanket at some point earlier when the others had left from shifting in his dream, his face still holding a peaceful look as he continued to sleep.

He really did look like a kid laying there, not much older then Light. He wondered exactly just how old L was. Eighteen? Twenty? Twenty three?

He stared, taking note of how Ryuzaki looked in this moment of time. Apparently L had a lot of terrible nightmares and yet…he was completely fine tonight.

_Yeah right. Him having nightmares? He doesn't give a rats ass about any one, he's not bothered by anything. He doesn't even have any emo-_

His train of thought crashed as he thought back to earlier.

Ryuzaki really had shocked everyone.

He had sounded so…broken.

_Well yeah, if someone who did everything for you died so suddenly then you would be upset too. He's too lazy to do anything himself. He just uses people. He's only upset because he's lost a good tool-_

Aizawa suddenly stopped, feeling slightly guilty as he took a moment to think over what had just crossed his mind. It was harsh now that he thought about it…but, that's just how Ryuzaki rubbed him. He couldn't help but think dark thoughts whenever it came to L.

"Ur…gh…hm…" Suddenly came the incoherent sounds from L, making Aizawa blink as he came back down to reality, once again staring at Ryuzaki to confirm if he had actually heard anything.

Ryuzaki was twitching, his arms now moving in jolts and eyes rolling behind lids as his head rolled slowly from side to side, his breathing getting slightly more rapid, the blanket sliding to the floor in the process as his legs shifted around.

Now sitting up to try and get a better view of what he was seeing so he knew for sure his eyes weren't playing tricks on him, he stared at the sleeping form known as L.

"I…apologise…" Ryuzaki unconsciously whispered making Aizawa furrow his brow in confusion as he leaned forward to hear Ryuzaki's small whispers from where he sat.

Who was Ryuzaki sorry to?

"…Naomi…Raye…Ukita…Watari…I…I…sorry…" Aizawa blinked rapidly and then rubbed his eyes violently, once again resuming staring at L.

_Ukita?_

Did he really feel guilty and responsible for Ukita's death?

Ryuzaki let out a small breath as he suddenly stopped all movements, his form now shaking; apparently cold.

Aizawa's tired eyes stared, not believing or making much sense out of what he just saw as he sat there frozen, not noticing the minutes go by.

With a sigh and taking one more look at Ryuzaki after recovering from spacing out, he hesitantly got up with papers in hand, stretching as he did so as his bones popped into place.

He took one more look at Ryuzaki who was now noticeably shivering with shaky breaths being let out.

_Oh well, the blanket's there on the floor if he needs it. I'm not Watari._

Walking past Ryuzaki's shivering form he went over to the desk where Light sat resting his head on his arm with paperwork underneath, his eyes closed and breathing quietly, his figure also covered by a blanket that had been retrieved from earlier, Soichiro having asked Mogi to guide him to the cubboard upstairs so he would know for future reference where to find them.

He put the papers down onto Ryuzaki's desk and then turned around towards the elevator.

"…It is…my fault…all of them." Were the hushed words that stopped him dead in his tracks.

_He does feel responsible…._

Aizawa stayed frozen.

…_Ohwell._

Taking a step before the elevator and pushing the button so it could ascend to his level, he stared, waiting for the darn thing to open.

_No...don't give into it…He doesn't give a damn… It's probably just another one of his damn tests that he does…_

Aizawa huffed as uncertainty started clouding his thoughts.

_But then what would he be testing for?…_

Aizawa unconsciously started tapping his feet and roughly folded his arms as he tried to suppress his curious and increasingly nagging thoughts.

"Come on." Came his impatient voice, the word _on _being dragged out as he looked to the level indicator above the elevator entrance, his fingers tapping his arm.

Then, not a moment too soon the doors opened, his arms unfolding as he quickly boarded into the small space, his finger about to press a button but halting as something unexpectedly hit him.

_The Chief was right…what he said earlier._

He closed his eyes so he wouldn't have to see Ryuzaki's shivering figure from the corner of his vision in the distance.

_He could have stopped me from coming back here. He is the one running this damn facility._

Eyes cracked open, narrowing over to where Ryuzaki lay.

Ryuzaki's whole form was shaking and jerking, fingers twitching violently.

The detective looked troubled.

_He's quite young for who he is. Yumi would bet upset too if you died. _whispered his conscience as his eyes squeezed closed in anger, once again trying to shut out the image of Ryuzaki laying there looking so cold and vulnerable.

_I'm not his father and I am not Watari. _He once again reminded himself as he pushed the button for his desired level._ Yeah he's younger, but he's also old enough to take care of himself. _

…

A small barely audible ping was heard as the elevator displayed the level he was going to go to, the small space starting to close its doors.

…Before a hand slammed over the metal, firmly blocking the doors from closing, making them open back up.

Aizawa gritted his teeth and let out a small growl with a huff as he got out of the space. "Goddamnit."

He stomped over to where Ryuzaki lay, his footsteps loud though apparently not loud enough to wake up the two occupants in the room.

Quickly he scooped up the blanket from the floor and looked over L with an irritated expression- only for his eyes to widen and body become frozen at realising L's foggy eyes were open, albeit to mere slits, but looking up at him none the less.

"Mr…Aizawa…" Ryuzaki paused as his eyelids kept fluttering closed only to reopen and stay to mere slits, his head lifting off the pillow, "…I…I apologise…for your loss…of Ukita. I…know now, of what it is like to lose someone. His death could have been prevented, but was not and…I take full responsibility…for that. Please forgive my…slow judgement...and actions." were mumbled words that had become barely audible as the sentence went on.

Aizawa's eyes stayed wide, jaw dropped to the floor, not knowing what to say at the abrupt and barely conscious confession-like words.

Ryuzaki's eyes fluttered once again, his head now easing back down onto the pillow, mere slits for eyes staying on him for a moment before sliding closed altogether, slow breathing resuming as his body visibly went limp again, slowly sinking fully into the sofa.

Aizawa stood stunned, wide eyes watching Ryuzaki's form like a hawk for any sign that this was planned.

Studying L, he realised that this really was no test. If it was a test he would surely stay awake to see the result.

But Ryuzaki was asleep once again.

And this was the only room that didn't have cameras.

Aizawa let out a breath he didn't know he had been holding. The blanket in his grip being held firmly.

Even if Ryuzaki was awake right now, he wouldn't know what to say. He honestly never thought Ryuzaki would ever apologise to him for anything. After all L was so damn stubborn due to his childish nature.

Aizawa let out a long breath through his nose, his muscles in his face more relaxed, the anger gone and instead replaced with mild confusion, his mouth opening and closing, no words coming out.

Instead of throwing the thick beige coloured blanket down on Ryuzaki carelessly like he had originally planned, something had stopped him from doing so and instead made him choose to put the blanket down on L gently, L letting out a small contented sigh in the process, the shivering gradually stopping.

Aizawa watched Ryuzaki stir briefly though remained still otherwise.

Seeing that L wasn't awoken he quickly walked over and boarded the open elevator whilst staring at L from the distance.

"…It wasn't your fault." The words came out hesitantly from Aizawa's mouth as his finger remained in in the air before the button. "None of it is." He said.

Aizawa hesitated momentarily before pushing the button.

"…But thanks." Were his tired words as the doors closed for good.

There was a moment of silence in the room.

"…Thank you as well, Mr. Aizawa." Came a small whisper.

* * *

****The next morning****

Aizawa entered the room as he stepped out of the elevator space seeing Soichiro and Mogi sitting on the sofa whilst Matsuda stood hovering by L's side, L and Light being where they normally sat at the main desk, L looking as energetic as ever as he threw a few phones in the bin before collecting more out of a cardboard box on his desk and studying them- for whatever reason that may be.

"Yes, thank you for your concern Mr Yagami. However as we agreed, the main symptoms would have showed up last night, and if I had suffered symptoms then they were indeed minimal, especially since you did not feel the need to take me to a hospital- and they have not been damaging as I am feeling fine today thus, able to continue work." Ryuzaki had said without even turning to where the older Yagami sat.

_Were they talking about last night?_

"Good morning." Aizawa said as he made his entrance to the room, everyone instantly greeting him apart from L as he walked over to the coffee table and grabbed a daily mug that Matsuda always did for this time in the morning. His eyes spotted a plate of cakes off to the side on Ryuzaki's desk, noticing crumbs covering parts of the china's surface, Matsuda asking Ryuzaki- who was currently crouched on top of his computer chair, if he wanted anything else, Ryuzaki replying with a simple no as he walked over to where Soichiro and Mogi sat, joining them on the seating.

_I guess that Matsuda has taken up Watari's role now then_.

Something then hit him.

_Does he even remember last night?_

Just on time as if Matsuda had been reading his mind, "Do you remember last night?" Matsuda blurted out without even knowing, making everyone freeze, Matsuda's hands instantly clasping over his mouth as he glanced to everyone, everyone giving him a _what the hell you doing? _look, Soichiro's expression especially disapproving. Aizawa couldn't help but facepalm. Trust Matsuda to just plainly ask outright.

Thankfully Ryuzaki's back was turned away from them all still digging through his box of mobile devices so he didn't see any of this. However, everyone did notice L's back discreetly stiffen, seemingly pausing mid study of his phones.

Aizawa's attention stayed on L out of the corner of his eyes.

Ryuzaki sat seemingly frozen, a hand clutching a mobile device now lowering to his side as his head tilted back, looking up at the ceiling with his other hand up to his face. Eventhough he couldn't see it from here, Aizawa could already picture L having a thumb to his bottom lip.

"Hmm…I am finding it all hard to recall…I fell unconscious at one point of the day which resulted in a concussion and I was taken to bed by Light…I believe that information is correct, is it not?" Ryuzaki said as he lowered and turned his head to the side so he could see them out of the corner of his eyes.

"Yeah, that's right." Light said whilst studying Ryuzaki from the side.

There was a small silence.

"Do you… remember anything else?" Light had now joined Matsuda's questioning, his curiosity getting the better of him.

Ryuzaki stayed frozen in deep thought. "Hmm…no. I can only remember you walking me to my quarters..." He paused. "Apart from that, I can only deduct at one point in the night I must have come back in this room due to wanting to check my phone which is why I woke up in here this morning. I must have accidentally fallen asleep in my chair, switching my phone off in the process instead of going back to my quarters. I apologise, but thank you all for placing me on the sofa with a blanket."

Everyone took a shocked glance to each other.

"So...so you don't remember about Watari?" Matsuda blurted out once again before he knew it, once again mentally kicking himself.

Ryuzaki's shoulders visibly hunched further, everyone glaring at Matsuda.

"What do you mean concerning Watari, Matsuda?" Ryuzaki's head had turned to face the young man, putting him on the spot, everyone watching Matsuda momentarily turn to them and give a _oh god! _expression, knowing the spotlights had now turned on him, his face going slightly red as he scratched his head before looking back to L.

"Uh…well…uhh…" Matsuda let out an embarrassed chuckle under L's scrutiny, feeling completely naked under that gaze as if Ryuzaki could see through every lie he was currently constructing in order to try and get himself out of his mess.

He knew he shouldn't have said anything in the first place!

Gulping, Matsuda tried to gain enough courage. "Well um uh… it's not right you get back to working so quickly after…um… Watari…uh…you know…you um… need some tim-"

"Watari and I were only colleagues Matsuda. He was only here to assist me. Apart from that, we held no personal connection."

Everyone watched Ryuzaki with a now confused expression, Aizawa's eyes widening as he looked to Soichiro and then Mogi, registering the notion that Ryuzaki was denying his feelings for the older man when nearly everyone had witnessed him pouring his heart out about him last night.

Everyone stayed silent as they sneaked glances at one another.

"Is there… a problem?" Ryuzaki innocently asked as he took a small glance over his shoulder towards them all, everyone seeing this though quickly making out they were all still reading their documents.

Matsuda's brain was completely mush, not understanding how Ryuzaki couldn't remember last night's events. It was as if Ryuzaki was denying it ever happened and instead constructed something he wanted to believe. "But last night-"

"We was just concerned about you getting back to working so quickly after what happened. That is all Ryuzaki." Soichiro cut Matsuda off quickly knowing Ryuzaki didn't need to be reminded. Matsuda looking completely confused as he stared at Soichiro, wondering why they couldn't speak of last night.

"Oh…I see." Ryuzaki said with a thumb to the bottom of his lip, once again turning to his box of phones, picking one up as he examined the phone between his thumb and forefinger. "No, I am completely fine after that incident. As said before myself and Watari were merely colleagues therefore I am fine to continue working."

Aizawa couldn't help but stare at Soichiro.

"Okay Ryuzaki." Soichiro answered as he got up from the sofa and walked by Matsuda, everyone noticing him mouthing the words _just go along with it. _with a stern expression.

Matsuda just scratched his head in confusion with one hand, whilst another held a finger in the air, his mouth opening and closing.

Just then Ryuzaki put his phone down and got up with documents now in his hand, everyone snapping their attention to their own work apart from Matsuda who had now put his finger down but still stood confused, watching Ryuzaki out of the corner of their eyes.

Ryuzaki started walking just then, making his way to the elevator as he pushed the button.

"Ryuzaki, where are you going?" Light asked curiously from the main desk.

"I just have one more duty to fulfil. I will be back soon." The elevator doors opened, Ryuzaki boarding it and pressing the button, staring into the room as they all felt Ryuzaki's gaze glance to each of them.

"I apologise if I may have given any false impressions last night whilst retrieving my phone. I believe for what ever time I was conscious for, as said earlier I may have suffered symptoms such as being delusional as a result from the concussion. However as also stated before, this was a mild symptom and I am fine now so there is no need for any concern."

Soichiro nodded. "That is fine Ryuzaki."

Once the doors closed, everyone looked to each other in disbelief.

"Un…believable." Aizawa muttered, still staring at the elevator doors.


End file.
